i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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