those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
