You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
