Do you still have your period?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
