Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
