ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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