It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
