Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
