Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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