Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
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