What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
