i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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