after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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