i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
