No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
