How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
