im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
