Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
