You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
