dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
