The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize