I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
