I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
