There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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