i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Welp...herpes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
