those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
