she was so not down for the gang bang
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
