I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just found a bag of teeth...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
