do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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