I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
