My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
