the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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