Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
