I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
