I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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