Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
