You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
