TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize