Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
