P.S. I can't hear my feet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
