I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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