ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
