So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
