My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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