4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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