Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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