they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
