I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
