Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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