Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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