do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
