Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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