Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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