they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
