But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
