Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
