I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
