Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize