they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize