It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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