Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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