It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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