New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
