smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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