he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
