drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
